What’s the Deal with Female Comedians?
A Poem By: Emma Rose | Image: Paul McMahon “Have A Nice Day”
Well, well, well… Look what we have here: Female Comedian.
Carpe diem. Seize the Female Comedian, boys. Make your lives extraordinary. My precious, Female Comedian. I feel the need — the need for Female Comedian. A boy’s best friend is his Female Comedian. I love the smell of Female Comedian in the morning. Frankly, my Female Comedian, I don’t give a damn.
It was beauty that killed the Female Comedian. A Female Comedian. Shaken, not stirred. Every Female Comedian dies; not every Female Comedian really lives. I see dead Female Comedians. After all, tomorrow is another Female Comedian. We’ll always have Female Comedian. You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, Female Comedian?
They may take our Female, but they’ll never take our Comedy. You can’t handle the Female Comedian. If you build it, Female Comedian will come.
Female Comedian, we have a problem. Comedian. Female Comedian. Surely Female Comedian can’t be serious. I am serious, and don’t call me Female Comedian! Nobody puts Female Comedian in a corner. Keep your friends close, but your Female Comedian closer. There’s no crying in Female Comedy. I’ve got a feeling we're not in Female Comedy anymore.
Listen to them. Female Comedians. What music they make. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful Female Comedian. Say ‘hello’ to my little Female Comedian. I’m gonna make him a Female Comedian he can’t refuse. The stuff that Female Comedians are made of. Show me the Female Comedian. I’m Female Comedian of the world. Female Comedians, they’re here.
Somehow, I’ll make a Female Comedian out of you. As God as my witness, I’ll never be Female Comedian again. I wish I knew how to quit Female Comedy. Hasta la vista, Female Comedian.
About The Piece:
The entertainment industry controls the narrative of female performers by writing the stories. The female story can be shared and understood by replacing words from the industry’s own voice. This satirical piece expresses the female experience through the lense of the male-dominated entertainment industry. The female experience is predominantly written and directed by men.
Movie list:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl [2003]
Dead Poets Society [1989]
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers [2002]
Top Gun [1986]
Psycho [1960]
Apocalypse Now [1979]
Gone with the Wind [1939]
King Kong [1933]
Goldfinger [1964]
Braveheart [1995]
The Sixth Sense [1999]
Gone with the Wind [1939]
Casablanca [1942]
Dirty Harry [1971]
Braveheart [1995]
A Few Good Men [1992]
Field of Dreams [1982]
Apollo 13 [1995]
James Bond: A View to a Kill [1985]
AIRPLANE! [1980]
Dirty Dancing [1987]
The Godfather: Part II [1974]
A League of Their Own [1992]
The Wizard of Oz [1939]
Dracula [1931]
Casablanca [1942]
Scarface [1983]
The Godfather [1972]
The Maltese Falcon [1941]
Jerry Maguire [1996]
Titanic [1997]
Poltergeist [1982]
Mulan [1998]
Gone with the Wind [1939]
Brokeback Mountain [2005]
Terminator 2 [1991]
by Emma Rose
Emma Rose is a Portland based Female Comedian.
She is also a woman.
She has previously written poetry for her 9th grade class poetry competition…
Her poem did not place.