Econ 101: Open Mics
Insights From a Portland Comedian
by: Reese Hendrik
Nothing in life is free — Not even laughter.
Doing standup comedy will cost money, no matter how you slice it…
How much money is up to you.
Being that open mics and shows don’t occur in your living room (unless you’re Bo Burnham or Maria Bamford) and you’re likely not getting paid to work out 3-5 minute sets around town, you have to consider the financial implications involved with performing the art we all love to hate to love.
Even if you live above the bar that hosts the hottest mic in town, you’ve got to pay to play in some way — The cost of simply existing these days is astronomical…
From individual living expenses to the contributions we make financially to society, to the unpaid labor we commit in service of self and community — There’s no doubt that we pay to exist.
Okay - enough of the wax philosophical take; Let’s get down to the nuts and butts of what it can cost to go out mic’n and how you can curb those costs by budgeting and being responsible FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE (talking to myself, mostly).
For the sake of example, take our subject: Chuck L. Pfuch
They’re a Portland based open mic’r who has a bite to eat along with a couple of drinks while attending mics three times a week on average.
Direct costs can be broken down into two main categories:
Travel & Food/Drink
Travel
Public Transportation:
Here in Portland we’re lucky to have decent public transportation… not that TriMet is perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they do service our city thoroughly.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to wish a fuck you very much to TriMet Police — stop ticketing the houseless, you heartless heathens…
An adult day pass to use the various modes of travel available to us costs $5 (for now). Assuming you’re using public transportation like Chuck, you’re looking at $15 for that week’s travel - $60 for the month.
Plan your trips around town using the TriMet Trip Planner.Private Transportation:
Since our beloved city was not built for the influx of transplants (myself and dogs included) that have flocked to our little slice of dystopia, we have a bit of a traffic problem… and with gas prices the way they are (Uncle Corner ALERT), it can get to be a bit expensive to drive around to all these mics, paying for parkinng and whatnot… unless you risk it like Lucas Copp, who apparently hasn’t paid for parking in this city for months...
If you have to travel an average of 5 miles to get to and from any given mic(s) a night, and your car gets an average of 20 miles per gallon (city), you’re looking at roughly 60 travel miles over the course of the month; At $4/Gal. that’s only $12 a month in gas!
Sounds a bit more manageable than public transport - until you factor in all of the other maintenance and insurance costs involved with owning a vehicle, not to mention loan payments (if you’re making them).
Again, unless you live above the only mic you ever want or need to go to, it’s gonna cost you money to get there.
Food & Drink
Open Mic comedy takes place more often than not in a venue that serves drinks and/or food - which is convenient for both the Mic’r and the venue as they draw revenue they otherwise wouldn't without the mic or showcase attendees.
Despite the risk of sounding off from the Uncle’s Corner again, it’s worth noting that people aren’t cooking as often as they used to, relying more on eating out or grabbing food on the go — Especially if you’re an open mic’r… Who has the time to stop home after work (assuming you have a job) to consume a meal before heading out to a mic that starts at 7:30?
Unless you’re eating cold leftovers in your car in the parking lot at Sukis along with the other sad divorced Dads, you’re probably gonna grab a bite to eat out somewhere — That cost adds up over the course of the month.
Let’s say you’re eating out 3 times a week (nice) either at a place like Haymaker or My Father’s Place - choosing conservatively from the menu and limiting yourself to two drinks (alcoholic or otherwise); With tip (which you should always leave) you’re looking at anywhere between $20-$30 depending on what you get — or more. Multiply that average by 3 nights a week and over the course of the month you might find yourself having spent $300 on food and drinks… ouch.
At least the food is worth it here.
The Bottom Line:
Let’s say you’re like Chuck and you want to have a fun time going out and enjoying the fruits of your labor with your peers while developing your craft — what does their minimum budget look like?
Assuming they’re taking public transport, as that is the more directly measurable variable, their general base cost of pursuing comedy each month is $360 on average.
Let’s say you never spend any money while going out and own your car outright, only buying the cheapest gasoline and insurance, I’m sure that figure would be significantly lower… but let’s be honest: How many of us are in that situation? I know I’m not…
—
Indirect costs are not as easily measured, but there are non-financial implications involved in pursuing standup comedy that should be considered:
Money You’re Not Making…
Time unfortunately equals money; Not only in a productivity, seconds-to-dollars sense, but in a best-use-of-my-time sense as well.
When you’re spending time “doing comedy,” it’s time that could otherwise be used to make money. A lot of us work multiple jobs out of either necessity or choice and have to be mindful of how our time is spent; Again, you're probably not getting paid for 3-5 minute sets at open mics.
Can you spend $30 tonight, blocking off 3-5 hours of prime Uber time in pursuit of your dreams?
Hell yeah you can — and you should!
Just make sure that’s not the case every night because you may not be mic’n for very long…
—
Here’s a TL;DR short at the end for you:
Go out and have fun doing standup comedy, no matter the cost!!
Life costs money; I’m not unveiling anything new there… but sometimes it helps to put things in perspective. If you’ve ever found yourself looking through an online banking app trying to determine where $200-$300 went last month, you may need to reconsider your budgeting parameters… Those beers, fries and bus tickets all add up!
Moderation is the same key used in life and cocaine benders…
just ask Chuck.
by Reese Hendrik
Reese Hendrik is a Portland based comedian and the operator of LaughsPDX + Publisher of the LPDX Blog. He also hosts Science Factual on Shady Pines Radio.